How nature says "Do not touch"

Apparently I rock a blue cardigan, because I got hit on in Starbucks this morning. It was way more crowded than usual, so I had to wait in line, and I noticed this guy notice me. If I was single, I may have been interested, but I didn't put out any signals. So I'm paying and stuffing my change back in my wallet and he suddenly comes around the coffee display holding out his hands. I just sort of look at him and he says "I was sort of hoping you'd drop some and I could catch it." I just smiled and said that I didn't have that much to drop. he asked what I was getting and I told him my usual cinnamon dolce latte and he says "Oh, fancy!" I looked at the girl behind the counter and she rolled her eyes. I'm politely smiling and not making eye contact and he just isn't getting it. He asks if I always get that and I said yes, even with all the calories. He laughed and did whatever VP types do to their coffee while they wait to pounce.

He wasn't bad looking, don't get me wrong, but he looked like one of those generic corporate VP types with a perfectly starched blue shirt with a very subdued windowpane plaid, khaki slacks, and the perfectly coiffed hair. Tanned, stout, probably plays a lot of golf. Divorced because the kids went off to college, or because he liked the strippers a little too much. Plus, he's got a copy of the Washington Post on his table. Not someone I'd have a lot in common with, probably.

So after I got my coffee I'm walking to the door, he winds up beside me and holds the door open for me, and I said thank you, and went to walk away, and by this point I'm thinking dude, you're not getting anywhere with this, but you get an A for effort. He asks if I always come to this Starbucks, and I just turned around and said, "I'm on a first name basis with my shrink and I belong to the National Rifle Association. Have a great day!"

He let me go willingly. Remember that the next time you meet Mr Creepy.