What the f is ude?

My latest msg on POF.......


hi how r u? u r beautifu and i liked what u said in your profile, ude like to chat sometimes?

Dating and the Ex

So, Doodlepants emails me yesterday afternoon asking if I want to go out to dinner because after NYE he isn't going to get to see me until next week. So, fine, we go eat, and I notice he's quiet, but if anything, I'm smart enough to know that if you don't fill up that silence, eventually men start blabbering. And he obviously has something to say, and I'm half waiting for him to say it isn't working out. So I'm halfway through my ahi tuna salad when he suddenly pops out with the fact that his ex (the gorgeous redheaded amazon - I found her blog...and it isn't really snooping when it's public, right?) has been texting him and just yesterday left the "last of his stuff" outside his house with a card "with all this stuff written in it". He's "freaked out" by it.

Uh-huh.

Even though it's none of my business, of course I get my back up. They only ever tell you half of the truth, so there was more to it than that, I'm sure. Still, I like this guy and he always pays (so, I'm shallow, but I have always been the one to pay so I'm enjoying it) and we really get along. So I ask him how he plans to handle it, or if he's going to handle it. Men are terrified of confrontation, so this is a chance for me to see how he deals with it. He says he doesn't know but that she tried this before and he isn't going to fall for it. I thought about asking him if he was going to tell her about me, but I discovered quite suddenly that I really don't care enough one way or the other.

So there's no telling what might happen now. At least I was viewing this one realistically, and a little suspiciously. I mean, you've pretty much plumbed the depths of man's ability to be duplicitous when you get a Tiffany bracelet from a married man who is on his way out of town for his honeymoon. It's entirely possible that Doodlepants could start seeing her again and I'd never know.

Maybe she can find the earring I lost somewhere between the kitchen and the couch and the bedroom that he couldn't find.

kissing boys hahaha

Apparently I am known as a kissing fool hahaha.
I have a list ( in order) of every boy I have ever kissed.
We are currently at 88 hahaha

I was catching my high school best friend up on my adventures yesterday ( she knew high school boyfriend, and was there through it all) and I told her, it was so cool kissing someone I had not kissed in over 20 years !!!! But I never realized he was #18, I would have thought he was much earlier in the list.

She busts out laughing and says " Girl, you obviously don't remember, you were a kissing fool in high school, you would kiss everybody" She said she and my other friend would get high and sit there and laugh, said they would mention a guy to me and I would say " Yeah, I kissed him, and give a rating"

Oh well, I guess we all need our hobbies...................
I would not mind kissing some new boys sometime soon !!!!

Something to think about with internet dating!!!

So I am talking with one of my girlfriends earlier tonight, I was actually a bridesmaid in her first wedding about 12 yrs ago. She is getting remarried in Jan., Her soon to be hubby was her 13th first dat on Match ( totally gives me hope) and she told me at lunch yesterday, She proposed to HIM!!!! Hell yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She brought up a very valid point, Whenever she was getting ready to meet someone new out, She always knew his first and last name, and ran him on the sex offender list. How smart is THAT !!!!!!

I really think that is something we should all consider ..................................

My public service announcement of the day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Ex continues to baffle me !!!

So as I was waiting for HS BF to pick me up last night. I post on my Facebook at 11:58pm that I was heading out for a little "adventure" Now most who know me know that when I say I need an adventure, I am looking to get into trouble.......................................
So this afternoon formerly know as, sends me a text saying " So what kind of adventure did you have?" Really !!!!!!!!! You are going to ask me that !!!!!! So I replied " I honestly don't really think you want to know the answer to that !!!" His reply was " I see, okay" and I replied " Sorry, but just remember this whole thing was your decision, not mine" and he says "It's ok, I am not upset with you !!!!" once again REALLY....... So My parting words were " I certain hope not, since you have no reason to be, you were the one who dumped me !!!!!" UGH


So I have been thinking about the last 24 hrs. AS I have said, first time sex can be weird, you just don't know each others bodies and buttons yet.............. But it is still thrilling and exciting nontheless !!!!!
Please, Don't get me wrong, I love sex, and have a very healthy sex drive. And there is nothing better that throw ya up against the wall mind blowing sex !!!! It can't be beat. But I gotta be honest, the best part of last night was having someone up against my back, kissing my neck in his sleep, rubbing my back all night and playing with my hair..................( could have done without the snoring) plus the total coolness of kissing someone I had not kissed in 25 yrs !!!!
Men need to understand, we need sex too, but we also need affection and romance. They both have their place. and if you give us the affection and romance, the return the will get during the sex part will rock their world !!!!!!

As I told the ex we will refer to as man with giant penis hahaha, " don't get all cocky with me honey, I don't need you, anything you can do to me, i can do better!!!!"
and on that note, I am going to bed with some very lovely dreams !!!!

Leveling with the parental unit

My Mother has decided that (even though she was calling him my boyfriend at Christmas) things with Doodlepants are moving too quickly - she's jealous that Witty and Mildly Jaded got to meet him first, apparently. So she's giving me all this parental advice - don't do this, do that, don't pay for anything so you don't have to have sex with him (but what if I want to?), don't have sex with him regardless (WTF? Is this 1958?), don't go out more than once a week, don't got to his house, run a criminal background check (what am I, the CIA?)...and on and on.

She's sounding very paranoid and kind of strange. I mean, I know she worries, but she was making it sound like this guy is going to kidnap and murder me. So I told her that I'm 37, I'm no spring chicken and I'm not getting any younger, and that things will happen as they happen. Then I got down to brass tacks.

None of my relationships have worked out. I always picked the wrong guy or the wrong guy picked me. I was married and now I'm divorced. I was seeing someone I really liked who married someone that wasn't me. So far, following the "rules" hasn't been successful and thinking everything to death hasn't saved me from trouble or heartache, so what's the point?

I want to have fun, I want to have a good time. I want to feel fun and pretty. I want to get butterflies before a date. I want someone to tell me I'm pretty because he thinks so, not because he thinks he has to. I want someone else to pay for a change. I want someone else to take the lead for a change. I don't want to overthink things. I know the red flags well enough now that I can put on the brakes if they pop up - like I told her, he doesn't have my house keys or my ATM card, and I'm not planning on marrying him, so we're okay.

Yes, he likes me, a lot. Yes, I like him, a lot. But I'm also much more of an adult than I was when I got married, and I'm also unfortunately a little wiser after the experience with Married Guy. I'm not going into this with any expectations other than having a good time. I'm not obligated to anything, regardless of who pays or if we have crazy sex in his kitchen, and I'm not sure why she's not getting that when I explain it to her.

And the crazy sex wasn't in the kitchen anyway.

Santa Claus

So check out the man who was checking me out on POF, are you kidding me !!!! So I normally would never post someone's picture up here, becuase I don't have any intent to be mean. This is just all about us venting. But this is just too good !!!!!! Profile and pic below.
Okay you want to know about me....HO HO HO!I come and visit you every year, and try to give you everything your heart desires, but you never pay me any attention...., until it’s one year later. What about the rest of the year?I’m a lonely guy...., but I’m still a happy one!. I have a great sense of humor and just love to laugh.If you paid me some attention, every now and then, you would find a happy go lucky friend, someone who listens to you, someone who would be there for you.Is the only way I’m going to get your attention, is to bring you toys all the time?Santa likes to hug and give soft ticklish kisses, through his very soft beard.Santa has big blue eyes and a great big heart!I guess you think I just make toys all year long, and that’s all I do!Wrong!.........Santa’s a movie buff.That “Christmas Vacation” gets me every time....ho ho ho!Oh by the way last year, Clark Griswold, finally got his swimming pool, thanks to my elves!If you’re wondering about my education, I graduated from “CAU” (Christmas Angel University)with a doctrine in elf psychology!.I love animals, especially reindeer, do you have any?My hobbies consist mainly around designing new toys, diddling with trains of all sizes, just love trains. I collect Christmas movies and think I have every one out there. My favorite one has to be “One Magic Christmas”......oh and of course “The Grinch”I love most all kinds of music, especially love Elf Karaoke Night..what a blast!Although I am a master toy maker, I would just love to spend some quality time ,with someone.Maybe cuddle on a sofa under a blanket and sip some hot chocolate and watch a romantic movie.Just adore home cooking and chocolate cookies......oh my!....wave a cookie under my nose and I’ll follow you anywhere and do whatever you want.....ho ho ho!Now I have started something, and I hope it catches on!Everyone decorates their home at Christmas, and some their work place, but I decorate,.....well you would have to see it to believe it, I’ll just leave it at that for now...ho ho ho!So if you find some time for me and we do go out for hot chocolate to meet......be prepared, for what you are about to see........guarantee it’s a first!......Oh and one other thing, you must wear a Santa cap .....sorry no exceptions!Every year, every one always tell Santa, what they want for Christmas. But did you ever stop and ask yourself......”Who asks Santa what he wants?......I’ll give you a clue.....for the past few years I’ve been hanging up pantyhose on the fireplace mantel.No luck yet, but I’m not giving up......because “I believe”.P.S.....For all you ladies who prefer "No facial hair".....the beard comes off right after Christmas!

So I need to change my Name (part 2)

So he and are talking and going down memory lane.... How he still owed me a date to the prom... ( he joined the army and could not take me to prom) I told him I still have the letters he wrote me from the army. One thing you need to know, we never slept together when we dated. I was 16 and not ready. He never pushed and was always very cool about it. So the next thing I know, he was saying " I should come down there right now" and I said "ok but you will need a hotel becuase you are allergic to cats" He says ; are you going to stay there with me" and I say "ok" here we gooooooooo........ So he picks me up at 1am, we go get a room. And yes 25 years later, we hook up. First time sex is always weird for me, you just know the person's body and what works for them yet. So the sex was fine, no complaints. But the cuddling the affection and the nostalgia of it all was amazing. It was so all very sweet. at one point he busts out laughing and say " I keep half listening for your dad to come down the steps....." it was just so interesting kissing someone again that you had not kissed in 25 yrs. It was just all very cool. So this morning we get up so he can bring me home and head back to TN ( yes he drove from TN to see me....) and we go to the parking lot, and there is a tour bus in the lot from our home town !!!!! Now my sweet daddy is part of a seniors group that goes on bus trips like that all the time> "I bust out laughing and say "what are the odds of that, what if we had walked into the cont. breakfast,and my dad had been sitting there eatting waffles. and here I am in sweats, no mkup and at a hotel with my HS boyfriend" Now THAT would have made a great story !!!!!

So I need to change my name to Witty and Mildly Scandalous

Soooo my night last night.....
I have always been a pretty "good girl" any of the women who know who I am on here, will back me up and agree. I pretty much follow "the rules" anyway.....................
Well it has been about six weeks since me and the formerly know as had gotten "busy". so I have been feeling lets say " a little tense" this past week. And it wasn't a matter I wanted to take into "my own hands" so to speak.I have a friend I met on Match 9 yrs ago. We have long since determined we could never really date, we are very different and would kill each other. But we have made out in the car from time to time for years. There is no doubt of our Chemistry. The fact he looks like Joey from Friends never hurt either. Well after formerly known as did his major f-up last Nov when he "accidently proposed to his ex while dating me" I called up said friend known as chiropractor boy, and used him for revenge sex, yup you heard me................... He knew the deal and was fine with it !!!!!
So since I was feeling frisky and am not really one to random hook up with a newbie (not that i think there is a thing wrong with it at our age, we are grown ups, it has just never really worked for me) I text the chiro and see if he wants a play date....... Well he was cool with it, then started overthinking it a bit which was totally getting on my nerves. Seriously. Anyway- we decided he was coming over last night. Well I will be damned if he had a close relative pass away. and was obviously in no mood.... And I had already pulled out the wax pot to fix the 70's porn star look I was sporting......
Soooooooooooo since I was not going to get any action...... I went to dinner with a girlfriend, so we could commiserate and vent. At dinner we figure out we are BOTH being hit on by the same 24 yr old on POF !!!!! So we came back from dinner and sent him an email busting him !!!!!
While online my high school boyfriend imed me. Now he was the first boy that made my stomach sick, and my toes curl. He was the first boy to make me cry, and the first man other than my father I told I loved. He was my first musician (drummer) in a very long line. I spent most of 1984-1985 in the backseat of his car, or the couch in my parents basement listening for my dad to come down the steps. I cried when he got married even though I had not had contact with him and years.........Even though he is now a slightly chubby cop with a mustache, and wears painter style jeans. I will always see the drummer with the mullet and sleeves ripped off yellow polo shirt playing pool kid who took my breath away hahaha. I was so smitten.....

The strangest Christmas ever

My mother printed out the picture of Doodlepants that I sent her and carried it with her to my brother's house to "show everyone my boyfriend". Did I miss something? My mother hasn't even met the guy, has never liked any guy I've brought home anyway, (except my ex-husband), and she's already calling this guy my boyfriend? We've been out on a handful of dates. He's a good kisser. But aren't we rushing things a little? She must be jonesing for grandkids again.

Merry Christmas

well it is 1:53am, officially Christmas.
I can't sleep and it is too late to take an ambien ( I have to be up at 8)
I am on the couch and I miss my cats.
I am sad and depressed. The man formally known as, was supposed to be here with me for Christmas......
As I have said before just because I am upset and miss him terribly, it does not mean I want him back.
I know I deserve more,I deserve better, I want 100 %. But damn, this just really basically SUCKS !!!!!!

I better get my Wii fit for Christmas, I need to lose about 20 lbs

Helpful Parents

Despite my glowing description of Guy #1 (henceforth known as Doodlepants, thank you Witty and Jaded) to my mother, she is still trying to fix me up with both her orthodontist (58 with 2 teenaged daughters) and a pilot (50 and also with 2 teenaged daughters).

Okay. I love my mother, but obviously she doesn't get that I am just not prepared to date anyone with teenaged children. Toddlers, babies, okay; welcome, even. Full or part-time custody, okay. But not teenagers. Too much drama.

Second, I am just not interested in dating anyone who makes a living by sticking their hands in people's mouths all day. It grosses me out.

Third, pilots travel, obviously, and extensive travel is on my list of deal-breakers. They also tend to be highly stressed and tend towards alcoholism or other substance abuse. No, thanks.

No matter how many times I try to explain this to her, she keeps insisting. I'm not sure why she's not hearing me.

Guy #2 is really nice, Guy #1 brings the perfect wine

So I emailed Guy #2 to let him know that I'm not doing the social dating thing until after the holidays, and he was very understanding, and he seems really promising. he's going home to Athens for the holidays too, so he's not exactly got a lot of free time either.

Still, Guy #1 showed up with flowers and a bottle of one of my favorite wines without me telling him the brands I like. He played with Winston a bit before we went to dinner and of course that was completely charming. I got another ninja kiss when he walked me to the door when he took me home. Made me completely weak in the knees.

Dating a guy who isn't paranoid or secretive or emotionally disturbed or married is really kind of nice. And I'm not missing the emails from the scary hillbillies that seemed to find me entirely too attractive.

Ugh, sorry I haven't blogged in a few days. I am in a funk, a bit depressed, but this too shall pass and I will hopefully soon be back to my charming witty self.
I have about decided all the guys I talk to are freakshows!!!!!

Out of the woodwork...

Oh ladies...

I just caught up on all of your adventures since my last post, and thank you for making my Monday a little brighter and funnier!

As for me, here's an update -

Bachelor #1 - chatted with Tennessee Todd on the phone last week...yawn. Nice guy, still not totally discounting him, but he seems about as exciting as a trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond at this point.

Bachelor #2 - Big Jack. Chatted on Yahoo IM last week, and he somehow managed to steer the conversation right into the gutter (side topic - am I the only one this continually happens to??? Do these men just get bolder / have no inhibitions because it's online?) - anyway, this ended with him emailing me some VERY candid pictures - and girls, I am scared if it's really him! I didn't respond, and then he IM'd me again last night - we had a weird and slightly annoying conversation - I told him about my weekend (including some cool dinner plans) and he started going on about how I'm high-maintenance, and his parents are very wealthy but he's not into "high society" and he eats to live (rather than living to eat, like most people!). WTF? I told him I didn't think we had much in common, and he didn't seem to get it. Don't think this one is going anywhere good (despite the fact that he's 6'4" and has a great body!)...if all he does is go to the gym and watch football, no thanks...

Bachelor #3 - the little drummer boy (29!) - said he really wanted to meet for drinks / dinner, then, in our continuing theme, not a word.

And finally, Bachelor #4 - Chad, who had emailed me from match a few months ago and then totally flaked out before we ever met in person, has come creeping back out of the woodwork with a vengeance. Suspected cause? He got laid off from his job (which of course only makes him that much more desirable, right girls?) and apparently has nothing else to do besides watch porn all day and try and pick up chicks...sigh.

Date #2 with Guy#1

A four hour long second date can't be all that bad, right? About all I can coherently say right now is that I have been KISSED.

This guy is quiet, shy, totally mild-mannered, polite, gentlemanly, all those really boring cliches that stack up like those issues of InStyle you just can't seem to throw away. Very handsome, very intelligent, but not exactly setting the world on fire. Or so I thought.

Halfway through the date, after we ate and they cleared the dishes, he suddenly moved over into the seat next to mine and while I'm thinking he's either trying to get a better look at the chick at the table behind us or he's dropped a contact lens, he laid a kiss on me the likes of which I've not had in a while. Married Guy knew some serious kung-fu sex moves and even he never kissed me like that! And he certainly wouldn't have done it in the middle of a restaurant! Holy smokes!

Once I recovered and he got back in his seat I asked him how long he'd been waiting to kiss me and he said since about 5 minutes after he walked into the restaurant on our first date.

Okay, so he obviously likes me. We talked for another couple of hours until the restaurant was closing and we may go to lunch tomorrow. He walked me to my car and snuck another ninja kiss on me and I don't really remember driving home.

Wow. Just wow.

Another Possible LoveInterest on Plenty of Fish...

So you guys what do you think hahaha. Sadly he we was kinda cute. I just can't deal with the rest. UGH !!!

First paragraph below is his email to me.
Second is his profile. Good thing Idon't need agreen card huh !!!!

would you like to date italian man i am very romantic and you will be very happy with me you are so beautifulli can kiss you all nightcall me 404-304-****
( not fair to actually leave the poor man's#)

HI I AM ITALIAN SINGLE MAN I AM LOOKING FOR SOME ONE TO WITH HAVE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP I AM LOOKING FOR A NEW QUEEN FOR MY NEW NEST I AM A CONTRACTOR AND A MUSICION.I HAVE MY sh*tTOGETHER. I LIKE ART AND LIKE TO GO OUTDOORS AND I LIKE SPEND TIME WITH MY GIRL MAKE SURE SHE GETS HER SHAR OF GOOD TIME IN LIFE.I AM VERY ROMANTIC AND LIKE CANDLE LITE DINNERS AND BATHTUBS.I LIKE TO HELP ELDERS I DO SOME HUMATERIAN WORK ONECE AWHILE JUST TO DO MY DUES. I HAVE BEEN HURT BEFORE BY AN EX JUST TRYING TO GET A GREEN CARD FROM ME SO NO FORIEGNERS THAT NEED GREEN CARD SO IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT HAVING A GOOD MAN CALL ME


I have not heard from Fly Boy much since he flaked last Monday. Maybe he lost interest...........

Date Tonight, Guy #2 Resurfaces, Pushy Guy #3

So I have a date tonight with Guy #1, who I'm meeting at the restaurant, and as it turns out wanted to pick me up because it would give him that much more time to spend with me. As sweet and fuzzy as that is, it leaves me wondering if that isn't a little much after one date. I like him, too, but not quite that much!

So out of the blue, Guy #2 emailed me and asked me out to lunch for Sunday. Unfortunately I'm already booked so I countered with next Saturday since next Sunday is already booked, too. No response so far, so we'll see.

So, I've been trading emails with Guy #3 who is really cute and has a great smile and who seems really nice. Unfortunately, he has also turned out to be really pushy. I don't do pushy, it vexes me. Emailing at least once a day if not two, really pushing to meet up and I'm trying to find ways to get him to put on the brakes for a bit because my time right now is very limited. He also travels a lot, which is one of my no-nos as far as dating criteria goes. What's a polite way to tell him, look, it probably isn't going to happen until after the holidays?

And then, last night, I discover I got two really great emails. The first is from a guy that used a really bad line (Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!) incorrectly and that I told I was wanting to see how it was going with someone I met.

"Hey there hot stuff!!
still thinkin that you da bomb!! how's that thing working out with that other e-dude?? have you come to your senses yet?? lol "

The second is from another really scary guy that I've never seen before. This one's a real turn on.

"ur very beautifl
Love animals and kids dont have either do u have or want kids someday just curious -->"

Gentlemen, have you READ my profile? Just looking at the pictures? I'm looking for men that have all their teeth and can spell...

*sigh*

Okay, okay, I already said I was clueless

Guy #1 said that he wanted to pick me up for our date Saturday night so it would be, like, a real actual date. Since I'm weird and paranoid I said that was incredibly sweet, but it would just be easier for me to meet him there.

It isn't that I have a problem with him picking me up, I thought it was gentlemanly and it secretly made me all warm and fuzzy. He has a nice car, so it's not like I'm afraid to drive in a junker. But it's still just the second date, and I just can't give up my sense of being able to get in my car at any minute and leave should the date go south. Plus the fact that I don't know if this early on I want him knowing where I live.

Plus, what if it *did* go south? If he had to drive me home, that would be really awkward. So I'm hedging my bets.

Would that have hurt his feelings? Bruised his manly ego? Put him in a snit that I don't trust him? Hmm. I doubt it, but you never know. Ergo, I meet him there.

Pictures !!!

For the love of God, if I see one more picture of some fool holding up their camera phone and taking a picture of themself in the mirror. I just might lose my mind!!!!!

Seriously, do you not have ONE f-ing friend who would take a picture of you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FYI boys- If we can't see what you look like in your pictures. Or if you don't have one at all. We will most likely not write you, or response when you write us...............

And my personal rule...... show teeth in your pictures!!!!!


The Witty One................

21st century dating and sensitive men

From the get-go, this whole dating thing has made me uncomfortable. Keep in mind I haven't actually "dated" someone since high school which was farther back than I will admit to in public. Back in high school, if you dated more than one guy at a time, even once, you got called some not so nice names by all the popular girls (and guys). So that is the memory and impression that is still with me as I trek through the Match.com jungle.

I went on a very nice date with Guy #1. We got along great and had fun. He wants to go out again, which is good, because I do, too.

I traded emails with another guy and he asked me out, and I suddenly found myself feeling very squeamish about going on a date with Guy #2, even though a date is just that, and it isn't like I'm in a relationship with anyone. Apparently, this is quite acceptable these days, going on multiple first dates at the same time, but it still bugs me. I feel like going on dates with other guys would be more of a distraction to me while I see what happpens with Guy #1. Fortunately (or not) Guy #2 sort of faded away, so I don't have to worry about him.

Is it just me being silly?

And on another topic, men have gotten just as sensitive and insecure as women! I got two emails on Tuesday from guys on Match.com. Unfortunately, Wednesday was a suck and I didn't get to my email at all. This morning, I have emails from BOTH of them, worrying that they upset me or turned me off somehow with their last communication! It really surprised me; I mean, what are the odds that I get not one but two paranoiacs checking me out? I emailed them both with apologies, when what I really wanted to say was that they really need to relax and realize that sometimes you don't get an immediate response...but that would be mean, I guess.

Now Ladies- Tell me this fella isn't a CATCH !!!!

Below is a portion of the profile of the gentleman who wrote me on Plenty of Fish last night.
Oddly, he stated in his msg to me that he wasn't getting any responses to his emails.He was honestly wondering if the site was " for real....." I wonder why..............................

Now obviously this guy is BEYOND help ( he likes BOOBS, table tennis, and juice. I like a guy with priorities) But to the other lovely men out there that DO have potential. If you don't know what to write, LET A GIRL HELP YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok that is my morning rant. Have a lovely day -WSJ

I am here to mingle and I am looking for a sweet Beautiful Average lady with Boobs,I really dont like ladies with flat chest that is why I said boobs cos some ladies dont even have none, Lollll.. As a Reggae Musician I love some one who has a flair for Arts, music and who loves to hang out and who loves Traveling and who can play some games such as pool, Table Tennis, Swimmin and many Indoor and Outdoor games..Just for your information too, I am a Vegetarian who dont smoke, drinks or do drugs..My first date will be like going to a Bar and have some drinks such as Fruit drinks or Juice but I can get you whatever you drink or we can go and have some coffee too then take a long walk or a drive and get to know each other more, then any other thing can follow after that...So if you found me Interesting please don't hesitate to contact me because I really need a sweet lady for a long term relationship and not to play games with..Please I Love Ladies with Few Extra Pounds and Boobs too so if you have all these qualities contact me please, but you must be between the ages Of 22 and Above.. White ladies/Caucasian are very well come and any other Races

It's not you, it's me...

I had an unusual and pleasant exchange this week with a match.com contender -

He contacted me (via "wink" then very nice email) expressing his interest.
I reviewed his profile and realized there is no physical attraction on my part (not even a shadow of a doubt - so why waste his time?).
I emailed him back to thank him for his email, and wrote that I'm currently seeing several people and taking a break from new relationships, but wished him a happy holiday season and best of luck.
He emailed me back to thank me for replying and wish me well.

WHY is that so hard? Did I tell a white lie? Yes, but what is the point of hurting someone's feelings when he took the risk? Why make this nice guy feel bad about himself just because he's not my cup of tea?

Some may disagree with me, but I don't think this is the time for complete and brutal honesty.
But most importantly, we were both polite, gracious, considerate of each other's feelings, and he didn't call me a bitch (or worse!) for turning him down!

The Clueless Girl's Translation Tool

When it comes to the cheating male, there is a whole dictionary of terms you should know: What they say vs. what they mean. Posting this has nothing to do with being bitter (no, not me!), but I thought I should save other women some trouble when it comes to translation. Be warned, these guys are good: Mine brought me a really nice birthday present 2 days after he got married! Gotta love those thoughtful guys!

This is only a sampling.

They say: “I travel extensively for work.”

They mean: I have a girl in every city OR that's my excuse when I have to make plans with the wife.

They say: “I’m usually flying for work on the weekends, so I’ll call you.”

They mean: My cell phone ringing at awkward moments when I’m with my wife is not something I want to deal with.

They say: “I work all the time.”

They mean: I can’t call you at normal times because I’m actually having dinner with the wife and kids.

They say: “Here’s my cell number. I don’t waste money on a home phone line.”

They mean: I can’t risk you calling my house and getting my wife on the line.

They say: “I’m not really much of an email or SMS guy; I’d rather hear your voice.”

They mean: I don’t want you putting anything in writing that my wife might find.

They say: “I’m busy that weekend. My cousin is coming to town.”

They mean: I’m actually seeing another woman when I travel to the other office, so I don’t have time for you.

They say: “Here, have this really expensive gift for no reason – aren’t I great?”

They mean: You’re starting to get suspicious and I need to distract you quickly.

They say: “I have this family thing up at the lake; we do this every year, just the family. I’ll call you when I get back.”

They mean: I’m taking the other girlfriend/my wife with me because I like them more.

Go Figure

So my dinner date tonight had to cancel, ended up having to work late. So what does a girl do in a case like that................ she calls a girlfriend and goes to dinner with her !!!!!!
Flyboy tonight does not warrant a weekend first date at this point. I have Christmas Parties to go to !!!! I offered him NEXT Monday. We shall see................

Friend of Friend guy called today to say hello, and firm up plans for the Sunday Christmas party I invited him to. He just might have more potential than I first thought................ I will just wait and see. he is super cute

Soooooooooooo as a few of the chicks found out the other day, the man formerly know as...... took his match.com profile down. ( That is what started the "discussion" which ended with our breakup, one of the chicks found his active and current match profile)
( side note- we were supposed to fully commited since March)

So I send him a text asking why he took his profile down. Yeah I know, none of my business, as if any of you wouldn't have done it !!!!!!

Ready for his reply----------------- "Just not interested at the moment, Don't have time" He sure as hell had time while he was dating me !!!!!!
I shake my head and laugh.......................................
I am going to bed

Hello Very Sexy Lady

Just an example of the oh-so-enticing opening lines I've received on Yahoo personnels thus far - very smooth, eh? Even sadder, that's one of the ones I wrote back to!

I was a hold-out for a loooong time on internet dating, but at 36, it's nearly impossible to meet single men any other way. After a string of less-than-savory involvements with co-workers, I finally gave in and threw a profile together on match.

Like the other ladies on this blog, I don't feel like my standards are impossible - intelligence, humor, common decency - these really shouldn't be too much to ask! Looks-wise, I am not looking for perfect (in fact, that would make me crazy) - just someone I have great chemistry with. I honestly think part of the problem is living in a city (Atlanta) in which the ratio of available women to men leads the men to believe they deserve nothing less than a supermodel, despite the fact that THEY are balding, overweight, directionless, etc. Sigh.

But I'm trying to keep a relatively positive attitude! Here are the current applicants -

1. Tennessee Todd - 42, seems sane / reasonable / normal - some fun IMing over the weekend, hopefully to be followed up by some phone chat this week

2. Sexy Jack - 33, you guessed it - author of the Hello Very Sexy Lady email! Despite x-tra cheesy opening line, seems attractive and relatively normal

3. Weird Older Indian Guy (WOIG?) - 52, noteworthy for sending me THREE emails within about four days -despite no response from me to any

Stay tuned...the cast could be entirely different by the end of the week!

WTF !!!!

Ok !!!!! I do not understand men, never have, never will.
Last night friend of a friend date guy texts and asks if I had a nice weekend and that he is looking forward to going to some parties with me that are coming up................................ very cool. he might have potential.......
This morning, the man formally know as my boyfriend..... texts me and says "good morning, how was your weekend?" Seriously !!!!!! Why???? Do you actually care?????
Date tonight guy keeps trying to change my mind on where we are meeting for dinner. On a first date, shouldn't I at least get my way since he asked where I wanted to go???? ( FYI- it is not some crazy expensive place)
Why oh Why do we even bother?????
Well like one of the girls stated in an earlier blog today, men DO serve a purpose that your girlfriends can't.
But there are always batteries.........................

Greetings from the Clueless One...

I haven't dated, actually really "dated", in years. I was recently seeing someone until his wife politely asked me to stop, so I don't really count that as dating.

I'm absolutely lost when it comes to the rituals of dating.

Coffee? Lunch? Dinner? Drinks?

Joining Match.com was quite a step for me - it took a month just to come up with a profile that didn't make me sound less exciting than a CPA from Dubuque.

Gentlemen, let me please say this up front: I do not own a kayak. I do not play tennis. I do not live for college football. I also do not think that a weekend spent at a NASCAR race qualifies as meaningful personal interaction.

I'm easy to please. I just want to meet nice men that aren't married, don't still live with Mom, are gainfully employed, and who have read something besides their Xbox instruction manual sometime in the last six months. Seriously, is that asking a lot?

Witty and Mildly Jaded

Welcome to the Blog, I started it, but you will meet plenty of my girlfriends soon !!!!!

About me, I am 40 and have recently found myself single again after about a year and a half. I was thinking I was heading in the direction of moving in with the man I was in love with. Then I was told " I am not in love with you, and I am not as attracted to you physically or romatically as I should be..." Soooooooooooooo..... I am still in my apt. in the city, and have been thrown rather roughly back into the "wonderful world of dating"

I am attractive, I have been told that by enough men in my life to actually believe it. I am witty and smart. I own my own business, and I am great at what I do. I have done my fair share of dating, and have been lucky enough to have had some long term relationships. I even have the much needed "gay husband".

I have rejoined Match, Yahoo Personals, and Plenty of Fish. Gotta get back in the swing of things ya know.......It is just really hard. I was pretty happy in my relationship, I liked being in one, (sadly it seems I am the only one) But I refuse to dwell on what is done, ( or the fact the bastard was a lying cheating pig) I will not become the angry bitter woman.I have had two dates since my breakup before Thanksgiving, and another one tomorrow. Dating is HARD, you feel like you are doing first interviews over and over again. Luckily alot of my girls are in the same boat, so we a rowing through the waters together......

Date 1- Friday night, Friend of a Friend who recently moved to town. He is also now currently single ( his breakup was 6 weeks ago) We had a great time, and a terrific dinner. Spent most of the dinner comparing breakup notes.................. it was almost funny. I think he will end up as a guy I hang out with vs a guy I date.

Date 2- today. Actually a guy I casually dated a few years ago and have remained friends with. He felt pretty bad about me getting dumped right at the holidays............. Spent a a great afternoon at the High Museum seeing the Terra Cotta Warriors.

ok I guess this wraps my first blog. I look forward to sharing my future adventures.....
WMJ

Here We Go !!!!

I am creating this blog to give myself and all my currently single friends a place to vent about our adventures in the dating world !!!!! Dating...... Ugh really does sum it up. If as a bonus, we give you your laugh for the day, then so be it !!!!
We are not here to bash men, we LOVE men. We will talk about the good, bad and the ugly of our dates ( or lack there of....) We are in our 30's and 40's, we all have different careers, and vastly different taste in men. We are all attractive women. No, we are not super models....... but neither are the men we expect to date.
Our expectations are simple. Self Supporting ( we neither need sugar daddies nor want to be sugar mommas) Honest, and Faithful . Is that really too much to ask???
Don't you wish it was as easy as it was in kindergarden. I like you, do you like me? Check one yes or no. We have read all the books..... The Rules, He's Just Not Into You, It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken, Cosmo, the list goes on.........
In the future blogs I will be known as Witty and Mildly Jaded. Thanks for reading, now sit back and enjoy the show......
WMJ