I'm sick

I am sick and I have a "non" date tonight . This is not a real date bc this guy has SO many issues right now, he is not ready to date. But a nice guy, so I said i would hang out with him some.
I refuse to date someone with a whole load of issues again. Formerly Known As had plenty of that. UGH
Bonus is that I sound like the sisters from the Simpsons when I talk hahahaha.
Will post later after I take my ambien so I can sleep ( now THAT should be interesting...)

Drummers

I have decided I have an addiction to drummers. First tow of my closest male friends are drummers. Yes "Steven" if you are reading this as I think you do. This means you and I heart you !!!!! The other being my ffriend who lives in CA that I don't get to see nearly enough!!!!!

High School Boyfriend was also a drummer when we dated.........................

I also seriously crush on Chris the Drummer for the VPs ( bald) and the cute drummer of Lifehouse (also bald) and after this weekend I now have added Dave ( the yes BALD) the drummer for Machinehead.

I need to find a support group hahaha, or a hot bald drummer to date me. Anyone got any leads??

I think I am getting a cold from my adventures in Chicago this past weekend. Too much fun I guess

WMJ

For Valentine's Day

I need advice.....

I just found out last night that (my boyfriendish person that I shall now always refer to as Brown Hipster because he is a hipster UPS driver) BH's 11 year old daughter is moving back to the state. NEXT MONTH. I'm freaking out because I could totally handle hanging out as the girlfriend of "Daddy" for a week every 6 months or a few weekends here and there, but now she is going to seriously be in his life.

Don't get me wrong. It is great. He is very, very excited to have her back closer to him and she is a very well-behaved child. However, as some of you know, I'm not really the "child type". I've never been around children, don't particularly like being around them and never planned on being around them. Now I'm instantly in this weird land of "you-aren't-my-mommy-but-you-are-in-my-life" person. I'm especially freaked because the current plan is for me to move in with BH starting in May.

All this being said, I haven't met the child yet. I have never even spoken to her. I don't know how she will treat me and I really don't know how I will treat her. She's been in this situation before (BH just came out of a 5 year relationship), but I never have.

I just need some advice. Oh, did I mention that I'M FREAKING OUT! :-)

Well, well, well

It would appear that Married Guy had a very specific purpose in sending me that email.

I do think it was prompted in part by me talking about Doodlepants, but not for the reason I initially thought, and here's why:

The day he sent it, someone I'm pretty sure was him checked my blog the evening before, the morning of, and the evening of, probably to see if I posted anything in response.  All I did post was a short question asking how many synonyms there are for "sanctimonious".

On top of being paranoid, since I started my little side business, I keep pretty close track of who is hitting what site of mine, and I use Google Alerts to keep track of who is searching on me in my various intarwebs incarnations.

Today, not only did I get a Google Alert that someone searched against my email address from his IP, but also against my blog name and immediately after that, a hit from the same IP on my blog.  

I think he planted the email for her to find, to put her mind at ease.  That way she could read the email where he talks about how he's found his one true love and I should just leave them alone because he never cared about me.  And then she could read my blog and see the things about Doodlepants.

I realize how crazy and paranoid and convoluted this must sound, but trust me: life with him was just that paranoid and convoluted.  Me + my ability to throw him = exactly how much I trust anything he does.

Now that I can put that to rest, the only lingering question is the story behind the bracelet.

Finding a "Keeper"

When I first gave in and finally joined Match, everyone warned me that it was a slow, long process and i'd be going on a lot of first dates. I spent two months writing my profile so that I could be exact and clear about who I am and what I'm looking for - without making me sound incredibly weird or incredibly dull.

And I will admit, I'm weird. I have weird interests and weird tastes and weird hobbies (I like guns and I knit, most of the guys couldn't seem to put them together). I have a strange sense of humor. I'm very independent and strong willed. I made that clear up front. And for the first time in my dating life, I had no expectations. I also had a very clear-cut list of things that were non-negotiable (my therapist made me do it, she said it's a Jewish thing, I have no idea) and how I was going to go about the selection process.

I was extremely selective about who I responded to. The first few days I must have sent 2 dozen "no thanks" responses to winks, and polite "you're not meeting the criteria" emails. If their introductory email didn't make a reference to something out of my profile, it was a no-deal. If they winked, I would read their profile and if there was even a slight hint of "hmm", it was a no-deal.

Out of all the men (and the woman) that contacted me, I only responded to 4 - in person, let me add that. I emailed with several, but it took a lot to get to a phone call. Extremely critical and picky? Yep, that's me. If there was even any hint of something off, like Guy #3's being pushy, and Guy #2's having lived in Alpharetta for 7 years but not knowing where any of the restaurants were, and Guy #4's living in Monroe, they were crossed off the list. I know I probably missed out on some truly nice guys, but I had a very, very specific goal in mind and Doodlepants was nearly perfect.

Doodlepants was the only one I had an instant rapport with, and I think it was because I made fun of him for liking Dostoevsky and we had a debate about the Beat Poets. See what I mean? Not exactly mainstream. With the exception of him watching football and American Idol and me liking guns and MMA, we've pretty much got a lot in common and go about life in much the same way.

Does this all mean that he is a permanent keeper? I don't know. I like him very much and he likes me, but it's still going to take time.

All that aside, I got very, very, very lucky.

Me

I know I have been MIA, but I had a death in my family, so i will be catching up as my well needed color is processing !!!!
Just for the record our dear readers............
WE DO NOT MAKE ANY OF THIS STUFF UP !!!!!!
with our real lives this nuts, we don't have to !!!!!!
Thank god we ROCK !!!!!
xoxo ME

I should get a sticker or something....

I found myself parked right behind exAhole's car on Sunday night/Monday morning at 2:00 a.m. (because he lives above a bar I frequent) and did not do anything bad or illegal. I have been fantasizing about this moment for about 2 weeks now (since he made yet another dick move). Ahhh.....the feeling of a sharp knife on hard rubber tires.......oooohhhh.....the feeling of a key sliding down the length of the car making that nice metal on metal sound.......mmmmmm......the satisfying crash a brick through his windshield must make. Carrie Underwood is on to something with that horrible song. But, I took the high road and didn't even leave a "watch your back you fucking fuck" in lipstick on his windshield.

Don't I get a cookie or something for that? :-)

(All that being said, my SO, who is so awesome, brought me flowers this past weekend when he took me on a date.)

You've got to be kidding me

I just got this long, heartfelt missive from Married Guy about how wrong he was to deal with the situation the way he did and how he should have apologized sooner and how if I'm the friend I said I was I'd just be happy for him that he's met the love of his life and let him live his life in peace.

Um, hello, Earth to Jackass? Besides the one email asking how you could be such an idiot, I haven't contacted you since your WIFE asked me to go away. Don't you dare get all righteous on me now.

I wrote him back saying that I did wish him well, and if he had been a man, he would have noticed that the last contact email was more of me being outraged that he could do this to her, as opposed to how he treated me. But I guess you don't notice those things when you're busy being self-righteous.

Really, though, it basically came down to it being my fault for trying to have a relationship with him, even though he was lying to everyone else the entire time, and how he never cared about me anyway and was wrong to keep seeing me. How I should have kept walking away the times I said I was going to - regardless of him protesting it. I can't go back to someone who doesn't want me, remember how that works?

I really just don't get the ego on these men. I really, really don't.

Women and their mothers

My Mother is still espousing the idea that I should not let him pay for dinner because that will "obligate" me to "pay him back" for spending his money.

I came right out and asked her why withholding sex seems to be such a big deal to her? Him paying for dinner doesn't obligate me to anything, if I'm going to have sex with him it's because I want to, not because I feel like I owe him anything. I said as far as I'm concerned, he could buy me Piedmont Park and that still wouldn't obligate me to anything because it isn't like anyone made him do it.

Back in her day, I suppose sex was still a commodity for women without any independence. however, there is really no point in me treating sex as a commodity because to me, I want sex when I want it. It's not some prize to be awarded to a guy for behaving correctly, that's just manipulative. You don't buy a car without test driving it, and plus, sex is fun and I don't consider it a gift or a prize that you bestow on someone. That's so old-fashioned that it makes me cringe.

I also just wrote to her that the old cliche used to be that men won't buy the cow if they can get the milk for free. The way I see it, why should I buy the pig when I can get the sausage for free?

Men and their mothers

I went and put my foot in it today.  Doodlepants came and picked me up and took me out today because he missed me and he said I needed to get out of the house.  We went down to the Righteous Room and then to a bookstore and had a good time.  While we were at lunch we were talking about marriages and relationships.  He mentioned that he told his mother that my specialty is chicken and dumplings and how I had made a crack about how the "menfolk shouldn't be cleaning the kitchen" after dinner.  Apparently she got a huge kick out of that and likes me even more now.  She and my mom are cut from the same cloth, since my mom is also very big on traditional gender roles.  At family gatherings, the menfolk don't fix their own plates, the whole nine yards.  They eat and then fall asleep in front of the TV while the hens cackle and clean the kitchen.

I asked him how he felt about it, since apparently his last SO was a rabid feminist who felt that she didn't have to do the cooking and cleaning because he could.  I said that I'd never had it traditional, since I'd always been the main breadwinner.  During my marriage I worked the 80 hour weeks and paid all the bills,  and the husband was pretty useless so I hired a housekeeper, so I had no experience being the "little woman".  I said I didn't think I'd mind the traditional if I wasn't the one responsible for the bills, but I'd been responsible for so long that I didn't know if I could give it up.  I asked him what he thought about it, how he felt it should work.  He comes back with "I'd much rather you stay home and not work, especially if we ever have kids."

You could have heard a pin drop.  I think my chin literally hit my chest.  I just sat there and stared at him, and then I think he realized what he said, because he blushed bright red and suddenly got very interested in his food.

I didn't try to change the subject but I seriously didn't know what to say.  We both just concentrated on our food.  Eventually he mentioned that his parents got another dog and we went happily onto that subject.

I've discovered that men whose mothers didn't work are much more inclined to have their wives not work than men whose mothers did work.  I guess it's just the example of what you grew up with, really, that you're comfortable with or learned was the "right" way to do things.

I really think I'm too old and set in my ways to give up my autonomy like that.

More points scored

I don't get sick often but when I do it wallops me.  Yesterday, Doodlepants found out I had a cold and said he was going to check on me and what did I want for lunch.  I said no, because I prefer to die in peace, but he said that I had no choice in the matter, and secretly, I was impressed.  I asked for soup, since it doesn't hurt to swallow soup.  He said okay.

Promptly at 12:00 he's at my front door with chicken soup and a card.  He kissed me on the top of my head after I asked him to not look at me.  He sat with me and made sure I ate my soup and we chattered and then he went back to work.

I could get used to this.

True confessions and p.s. this weather sucks....

So...I am supposed to have a long-awaited date tonight with a boy we'll call J. Met him almost a year ago at my former job (he worked there too at the time), and was completely smitten. As with my typical luck, he was in the process of ending a bad marriage and has a small child. Ugh. We embarked on a passionate affair anyway, which has had it's ups and downs over the past year. I have somehow managed not to let myself fall madly in love with him (he's just about perfect - tall, dark, handsome, funny, smart, successful, your basic dream come true, sans the wife of course), as the pending divorce has never actually come to fruition and I don't want to be the Carrie Fischer character in "When Harry Met Sally". Trust me, I do not feel good about being involved in this, but I have been assured things were over long before I came along and if it weren't for the child, etc., etc. - we all know the drill, I'm sure. Perhaps the karma police will get me for this someday, but I take responsibility for my actions, whatever the cost.

There are of course also some distance complications, as he lives in Chicago (but not close to where I'm working). We still talk, but I haven't seen him since September.

Finally tonight we are supposed to get together, and...of course it's yet ANOTHER blizzard here today!!! Not looking good....

Oh, the horror

So, backstory with Doodlepants...

I freaked out over his Match profile still being up and updated after he swore he cancelled it. He freaked out because my ex-husband was at my house working on my broken garage door opener. After a series of very strained emails, he insisted that we meet for dinner to clear the air. We met halfway and it was very polite.

Over veggie pizza he insisted that he isn't looking to meet anyone else until he sees where we go. I agreed that was reasonable and I felt the same way. I reminded him there is a reason there is a big "EX" in front of "husband" and he acknowledged that it wasn't really his place to be jealous. I acknowledged that I didn't really have any right to be jealous over his profile since we hadn't discussed yet whether we were going to be dating other people.

He's good, I'll give him that, he knows all the right things to say and while the girly part of me is thrilled by that, the adult in me is still highly suspicious. I know I can't hold him to the same standard of behavior as other men in other lives, but it's hard for me to believe anything a man says anymore. I just take them for half-truths. So while he seems amazingly wonderful, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Then I made the mistake of letting him kiss me and of course we ended up at his place having crazy and surprisingly combative sex, but I felt good about being able to pick up and leave afterwards without feeling guilty. When I was getting dressed he told me that I probably wouldn't hear from him Tuesday night and I'm thinking, great, here we go.

He says that he has a secret addiction he's been trying to hide from me because he knows how I feel about stuff like this. I'm thinking, just great. What, heroin? Meth? A weekly sewing bee at Jo-Ann? He gets this really sheepish look and says that he absolutely has to watch 'American Idol' and that tomorrow night is the new season premiere.

I think I hurt his feelings because I burst out laughing but it was the last thing I expected from him. It was more surprising than finding out that he watches football. I mean, this is a guy that reads Wittgenstein and writes poetry and he's watching 'American Idol'? He said I was welcome to come over and knit, but I just said that I'd let him enjoy his TV show in peace.

I'm a lot less pleased about the hickeys. I look like I'm wearing some kind of... sex necklace or something. I had to wear a turtleneck to work today. He says I bruise too easily. So I guess we've made up.

Glutton for punishment? So it seems...

Oh girls...I am perhaps a big ridiculous fool, but I sent an email to the little drummer boy, as I'm still completely confused about that situation - I know I didn't really do anything wrong, but he is the first guy I've met online who I was really attracted to - and I want to at least try to understand why this evaporated for no apparent reason...

If I get no response, at least I know I tried everything I could. And yes, I know in my head that if he acted like a big freak the first week, it's not a good sign. But, as in all moments of weakness, I don't have anything else exciting going on at the moment. ;-(

I had a strange phone conversation on Saturday with a Yahoo personals guy who hasn't dated anyone since his girlfriend was killed in 9/11. Ouch. Needless to say, I don't think that's going anywhere - he also is anti-picture (I asked him why he doesn't have pictures posted, and he gave me the "I want someone to get to know me for my personality, etc., etc." crap), and despite his profile saying he's Caucasian, is apparently really Indian. Sigh...

"Oh, but I cancelled it"

What is it with men who don't seem to grasp that you're going to pick up on the fact that they lied sooner or later?  Yes, sometimes it takes a bit, but we're always going to clue in sooner or later.  Sometimes our girlfriends help, but we can usually figure it out ourselves.

If you met someone on Match.com, you can safely assume that even if you told them you cancelled your account, they're going to notice that you left your profile up...and that you updated all your pictures.

To Our Readers

Please feel free to leave us comments, we love reading them, as much as you all love reading ours posts !!!!
Having a voice equals freedom!!!!

Snap.....

Wow, Just when you think your heart can't break anymore, your hear that final "snap" and realized it has officially broken in two. But at least now it is numb.... it is done. My heart is no longer his to break. But damn, job well done.

I keep thinking of two song lyrics, one by OAR " How many times can I break til I shatter", and the Goo Goo Dolls " Scars are souviners you never lose"

B.E.G. and I really did the "math" tonight. We realized that the weekend he "accidentally got engaged to his ex gf" He slept with me on Sat., her on Sunday, and the ex on Tues.................
busy MF wasn't he !!!!!!

But the friendship B.E.G. and I got out of this nightmare is truely the blessing you should always hope for.

Text Sex

I love text sex, it is fun and makes me giggle......
I also TOTALLY love boys who kiss you on the cheek when they say hello and goodbye.
the host of my friend's bday party last night is quite a cupcake and he does that . It rocks
Now I have to go to work and I have cramps and THAT sucks !!!!
More later

I will be back

I am so behind in my blogs, but all good stuff,will try to catch it up this weekend !!!!
WMJ

No longer amusing, mostly contemptible

Married Guy at work grosses me out. On the one hand he's giving me the typical line that his wife isn't coming down here to live, etc., and that it's better this way. So once he's tired of flirting with me and leaves, I go snooping.

From all I can judge from a handful of emails, his wife certainly doesn't seem to think the marriage is in trouble. Full of "love you"s and "miss you"s and at the same time he's getting the same kinds of messages from his girlfriend.

He saw me waiting for the elevator and actually caught me by the elbow just to say hello. Oh, hell no, Mr VP. Don't invade my personal space. Don't you dare. I just looked at his hand and didn't say anything until he let go. Now that I know what to look for, this guy definitely likes the challenge, the stalking and the hunt, and most likely gets bored after the kill. Scumbag.

Jackass.

Does a guy like this even realize how many lives this could potentially ruin if it got out? Why don't they care?

Married Men who still don't get it

Apparently Office Married Guy didn't get my comment yesterday, because he IMed me like usual this morning and actually called me sweets when he signed off.

I sense trouble brewing.

The end of my rope...

Finally have some time to catch up on the blog and sit down to relay my latest adventures...

We'll start with the oh-so-exciting Tennessee Todd. Our IM conversations picked back up last week after he sent me a very sweet e-card for Christmas, and I started thinking my initial "boring" verdict was perhaps a bit unfair.

He brought up the idea of meeting in person halfway (Chattanooga), and we decided to throw caution to the wind and do this on Friday. I told him I could book a hotel room using my points, and we agreed to meet for dinner. We discussed the potential awkwardness of sharing the hotel room, but he repeatedly reassured me that he would respect my boundaries (and he didn't seem like a serial killer -but I guess they never do!).

I arrived first, and was waiting in the hotel bar when he arrived. As happens to me 99% of the times I meet an online date, I was a tad disappointed when he walked in. He looked like his pictures, except slightly worse and older - does this happen to other people too? Anyway, the teeth were ok but not great (lessons learned from my fellow bloggers on this one!) and he had a slightly gay voice (not a turn-on!). Sigh.

I took a deep breath and tried to make the best of it - he told me I looked "pretty awesome" and didn't seem disappointed in my looks, but who knows. We headed out for dinner (a carefully chosen moderately-priced brewhouse), which went pretty well except I had to carry most of the conversation and I was acutely aware of the price of everything I ordered (a side salad!?!? a second glass of wine!?!? how DARE I??). Guys, if you can't relax and enjoy a decent meal with a girl without tensing up when the bill comes, guess what? You can't afford to date! Or at least to date me.

The last thing I am is a gold-digger, but cheapness is one of my biggest pet peeves. I'd rather just pay for my own meal and be able to order whatever the hell I want!

In addition, the dinner conversation confirmed my original verdict. B-O-R-I-N-G! This is a man who went to Costco on New Year's Eve. Nice, but really nothing to contribute.

Anyway...after dinner (about 11pm) there was no talk of doing anything else and we went back to the hotel. Can you say awkward? (I realize I have no one to blame but myself for the hotel room situation). We sat on the bed and watched TV, and he made a few small gestures of affection. We then both put on pajamas (in the bathroom) and got in bed. There was a little bit of kissing (he was better with the lights off!) but no big moves were attempted, thank GOD.

In the morning, I was up, showered, and ready to go before he even got out of bed. Hopefully it was pretty clear that we were not a match.

As discouraging as this was, I have to say I am glad we met - otherwise I could have wasted another month or two talking to him and building up for an even bigger disappointment!

And so...onto the little drummer boy.

We met the Saturday after Christmas for drinks, and I was SO excited because a) he is adorable b) we got along great, and c) there was INSTANT uber-chemistry! He repeatedly said he thought I was very pretty and sexy and he was not the least bit disappointed.

We had a great time talking and when he walked me home we kissed for a few minutes (which was awesome), said our goodbyes, and agreed to talk soon. I was on cloud nine - until I started getting weird text messages from him.

This started when I got upstairs and was getting ready for bed -

Him - Or not
Me - ?
Him - I just said I had a good time
Me - Me too - and I enjoyed kissing you! : )
Him - Alrighty then
Him - Well, you could have introduced me to your cats
Him - So..yeah. Good Luck.
Me - I think it's nice that we behaved ourselves on our first date! Can't promise I will always be so good!
Him - Sure
Me - I am serious. Hope you get home safe and hope to talk to you soon!
Him - Thank you. That will be up to you.
Me - Did I do something wrong?
Him - No, just let me know I'll see you next month
Me - I'd like to see you this weekend if you're around

Continued the next day (Sunday) -

Him - I'm game for hanging again if you'd like
Me - Would like that very much - can I call you later?
Him - Yeah, I'm headed to my grandmother's for dinner

Next day (Monday) -

He calls around 1:30pm, but I don't answer as I'm in the car with my mother.
He leaves no message.

I text that night and say "Saw you called earlier - I'm finishing dinner with my parents, will try you on my way home". I leave a voicemail and hear nothing back.

New Year's Eve (Wed.) -

Me - Just wanted to wish you an early happy new year! Hope you have fun tonight and we can chat soon. : )
Him - Yeah, me too - have fun tonight?
Me - Thanks, I'll try - save me a new year's kiss?
Him - Sure - I called like 3 days ago

(Huh????)

Me - I left you a voicemail Monday night - did you get it?
No response.
Me - I will be around tomorrow and the weekend - would love to see you.
No response.

In a last ditch effort, I left him a voicemail on Sat. afternoon saying that if he's not interested I will leave him alone, but I had a great time with him last weekend and would love to see him again.

I am utterly baffled. Is he bi-polar? Did I do something wrong?

Sometimes I just want to give up on the whole thing. : (

OMFG

Some guy just sent me this on MySpace - which says quite plainly in my profile that it ISN'T there for me to get hit on. So this whole impassioned soliloquy is doubly stupid because he obviously can't read.

****************************************************

No you don't know me, and I'm hoping i can draw a distinct line between maintaining class but at the same time not coming across like the other creeps on here. In order to do this, I realize I have to write something unique, but to make it even easier just be honest. I really have nothing to lose so sometimes I figure it is a good thing to put yourself out on a limb. I'm hoping to God it doesn't snap lol. Life seems really complex sometimes but we overestimate the fact that if we really want something all we need to do is really ask but ask in a humble way. There are so many people out there that are really just afraid to ask so they never get what it is they are seeking. Am I a people person? Absolutely I love helping people work out problems and have always considered myself to be blessed, considering all the gifts I have recieved. I didn't get to this mindset or develop my personality living a peachy sheltered life either (though I was brought up in a very good family). I have learned that life is so short and doing the right things always left a lasting high more than anything tangible. No drug nor drink could ever bring me to the high I feel when I connect with someone and truly listen. Not to say I never got crunk and didnt ball out of control, but I had to leave that life behind to work my way to the top. Fun memories and the building of ones character is what I got from living that club life. God shined his light in the early grey of a hangover. I did this over and over expected different results. If you are into that I don't knock it, I just live my life for tomorrow as opposed to always being in the moment and concerned about feeling good. Life is a fight and the strong push through discomfort. If it wasn't rainy and cold some days would we really appreciate the feeling of the beach on a sunny day? I just moved to Atlanta from FL where I took part in the family business. Aside from getting my ass handed to me on a daily basis, I did a little growing and went through some of the hardest times of my life trying to live up to that expectation that I was somehow supposed to be the best at everything I did because of who I was. I decided to move back to civilization after a three year term at my grandfathers company and still have great ties to the company but needed a change in scenery. Something about the change of leaves and it not always being 60 degrees is really refreshing. Something just told me to come back to Atlanta, so I did and now you find this peculiar message in your inbox :> Life is random or so we think it is until we find greater purpose and meaning in the things that are for the most part overlooked on a daily basis. It has always been said that God is in the details. When I got sober I started seeing life through a much clearer lens and realized that my purpose being here goes further than just making money and amassing material possessions. It goes further than finding someone that I can take care of and that can love me just as I love them. Of course these are great things to live for, something I think we all want but the rabbit hole can go as deep as we look. No rabbit hole is not synonymous with Myspace but then again why not? I have been single for some time, not because I smell bad or have bad teeth (haha) but am looking to make a connection with someone that is caring, someone that knows what they want in life (for the most part) and someone that is open to having a relationship with a man that can be the ruler of men but at the same time love to cuddle on a rainy night and watch a movie. I am definitely an alpha male but dont live up to many shallow stereotypes of that label. I would love to think I have a little more substance than most because I have been through so much in my life and have become very strong through these hardships. Obviously I do not put any expectations on anything because that is one way to set yourself up for disappointment, but hey this is life and its full of it. The advantage is having a very good bullshit filter, so you don't have to spend your time sifting through weak links. I not only can be someone that is intimate and sweet, but a pillar of strength and hope when hard times or difficult situations come. I am not cocky or arrogant though people that don't know me might get that impression. Confidence is a positive thing and thats something that I am because I know what I bring to the table. I am not an angel but I work in the light as opposed to the other side. Here's the part where instinct really just plays a role. I myself am a very good judge of character even with a 5 minute phone call. I have so many things I am trying to change so I doubt I am, but I strive to wake up a better man with each passing day and I will say that I am very different than any other 24 year old male you might know. Despite coming across like a goody good, i will regretfully inform you that I was a bad ass at one time in my life but had to grow out of that thinking that I was somehow better and unique. Life is very funny in a way that you will go many different directions, some shortcuts, and others turn out to lead you in the complete opposite direction of where you are trying to go. The important thing is that you are thankful for every moment and just dont make the same mistakes 55 times. All in all I would not be the person today if i had not made so many mistakes but have come out with more gifts . To whom much is given, much is expected. It is a matter of acknowledging that we are blessed and have much to offer; then the next step is to give it away. I am not giving myself away, but i am writing you to put myself in a position to make you laugh with my jokes and funny ass sense of humor. I might come across like a goody good, please do not let this be the case because it definitally isn't. I possess balance like any good man should. Anyways, this is not a scam nor a mass email, I wrote this with the intention of you writing back. No i am not desperate to meet someone, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get to know someone special. I hope you can take this into account when you read this and think it is too good to be true or you might just think i'm an idiot lol. Nevertheless you decide and hit me back!

Married Men who don't get it

I seem to have a flashing "Married Men Please Hit On Me" sign on my forehead - or more appropriately, on my breasts, since that's what they seem to notice first.

There is one in my office who has been particularly persistent, and what could be deemed "inappropriate" in HR speak, if I cared about any of that, but since I'm a grownup I'm not running to HR about it. Instead, today, he stops by for his usual flirt-fest and I ask him how his holiday went and when he's moving his family down and he says they're not moving down with him. I feign shock and sympathy and shake my head.

*cue opening for either party to establish mutual interest*

So I mention that's a shame and ask if it's a good thing or a bad thing? It's a good thing, and of course I frown sympathetically and mention that it's a sad thing to think about over the holiday. He of course behaves as though it isn't a big deal (and considering he already has one girlfriend, it must not be) and that's when I make the not-so-subtle statement that men are on the whole easy to understand and their motivations are easy to figure out and that things will always work themselves out for the best, even in situations that seem complicated.

He gave me a strange look for a minute and I just gazed back serenely and I think he finally got the hint, because he said he was glad to be back and immediately left.

Cross your fingers that he's taken my point.

"Hookups"

Attention men over 40. If I am looking to "have some fun" or a random hookup. It ain't gonna be with you !!!! It is going to be with one of the smoking hot 24 yr olds who have been writing lately............. that can actually keep up with me !!!!
There, now I have vented !!!!!

Dating and the other Ex, the Snoop Session

So, as I'm getting ready to go meet Doodlepants for NYE, I get a text message from the ex-husband. It's a pitiful attempt at making me feel guilty by hoping that "you two have fun tonight" and to be safe and how he's not going out because he has to work NYD and he didn't have any invitations anywhere anyway. It rapidly spiralled downward from there when I told him politely to get over himself and get a life and stop trying to make me feel sorry for him. He's not my responsibility anymore and hasn't been for three years. Why is he still trying to guilt-trip me? Why is he conveniently overlooking the fact that he's steadfastly resisted getting his own life and instead focused on making me having a life seem bad? Most people would say that I should be more sympathetic and that he's just feeling lonely and I should have been nice but you'd have to know the whole backstory to appreciate the fact that he pulled this stunt as I was heading out the door on a date. Oy. Get over it, get over me, MOVE ON, please.

So, in light of Doodlepants's revelation that his ex had made contact with him, I decided it was time to see for myself if there were any skeletons - figurative or literal - in his closets. I've never been a snooper (maybe if I had I wouldn't have been with Married Guy for so long) but this time I decided that all's fair. Men can obviously lie and sneak with no guilt, so why should I feel bad about digging for some dirt? I made a thorough search of every drawer, nook and cranny upstairs while he cooked, and then the next morning I scoured the downstairs while he showered. I didn't find anything untoward; no heads in the closet, no gimp masks, and no plushy costumes, thank goodness. As far as his ex, I found some pictures, but they were mixed in with a bunch of others, so I felt that was reasonable, she was a part of his life, after all. In one of the garbage cans I did find what was apparently the card she'd left him and a bunch of junk, which could have been the things she left. I didn't read the card, because the idea made me feel even more squeamish on top of the snooping, but I wonder now if I should have.

So far it appears he's being honest, so I will continue to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he didn't have to tell me that she showed up, so we'll see if that honesty continues.

insomnia again

I must go to sleep, I am tired but cannot wind down. I have decided my Chiropractor "friend" is really just an idiot, and a giant pain in the ass !!!! Sex was good, but not all the drama that comes with him.
I just want to meet someone and be smitten again. And this time it would be nice if they were also smitten ( and faithful) back !!!!
W-

I am addicted to Flair

If you are on facebook, you know what flair is.

These are some of my current favs

This made me giggle