WTF indeed!!!

So..here's what just went down with POF contestant #1 - I am shaking -

Jeff, 38 - cute and seemed somewhat normal (clearly I was wrong!). Contacted me several times, we have talked on the phone at length the last two nights and were planning to possibly meet this weekend.

I got back to my hotel from dinner and was checking email, POF, etc. - he saw that I was on here and wrote the following -

"Best of luck hope u find what u are looking for. I think maybe you are just to busy and I find it hard to trust someone who lives in another state makes it easyer to cheat. I dont think I could date someone and only see then 1 day a week."

So I wrote him back, said I was sorry he felt that way having never even met me, that I am actually pretty honest and have integrity, etc.

He then wrote back, basically called me a whore - said if I were truly interested I would have called him instead of logging onto POF, etc. When I tried to write back he had blocked me!
His headline now reads "No whores be honest!!!", which is apparently a tribute to me.

WMJ - he goes into the same hall of fame as the Hungarian!!! I didn't realize I was supposed to change my entire life and cut off all contact with other men based on two phone conversations.

The good news? I clearly dodged a major bullet here...can we say CRAZY????

I propose a vote:

Everyone who thinks WMJ should change the name of this blog from Dating...UGH to Dating...WTF?, chime in!!

Casting a wider net...

At the suggestion of WMJ, I recently decided to give P.O.F. a try. So far a big response, which is great, but naturally a bit more weeding is necessary.

In no particular order, here are my thoughts (although these can really apply to any of the sites) -

• If you have to mention that you LOVE sports / are super athletic / are super fit over and over in your profile, WHY on earth would you want to date me, the queen of un-athleticism?
• On a similar note, being "fit" is all well and good, but if you look like you could bench press me, spend more than an hour a day in the gym, or have pictures on your profile displaying your "guns" to their best angle, two words - no thanks
• If you approached me on Yahoo or Match and I didn't respond, guess what? I have a memory, and chances are pretty good I'm not going to suddenly like you on P.O.F.!
• If you know me / have dated me in the past and see my profile on P.O.F., that does not necessarily obligate you to email me and point out the obvious ("hey, you're online dating!") - sometimes it's better to leave that whole "small world" thing alone!

All in all, a few worthy contenders - more on that soon......

A final note - some of you may have doubted my self-esteem preserving strategy of NOT proactively contacting any men on these sites (I only field incoming offers) - well, I broke my own rule the other day on match. I sent what I thought were cute, witty emails to two guys with very funny profiles. And of course they both looked at my profile and passed. Sigh. Probably out there looking for Asian / Latin / Brazilian Barbie of some variety...so I'm back to Plan A.

The Impromptu Guide for Filtering Online Dating Candidates

Sure, it's picky, sure you might skip a few guys over because of it, but it's what found me Doodlepants.

1) If you email me, you'd better reference something in my profile and know something about it or know what my username meant.

2) No extensive travel for "work".

3) If you were successful in referring to my profile info and I email you back, your reply doesn't use the word "sexy" or even mention going out yet.

4) In fact, you don't even mention going out or give me your private email or phone number until your third email.

5) Don't offer to send me "private" pictures.

6) You meaning the dating woman = Flat out mention something that is one of the most important things in your life - the thing that matters most to you, barring everything else, like if you were on a deserted island you'd be fine if you had X or could do Y.  If he isn't as positive as you are about it, even remotely, no-go.

(Yes, that's very personal, but it gets right to the heart of the matter, doesn't it?  Like, I could live [if pressed] without knitting, but I couldn't live without books.  Granted, it's not like my family doesn't matter, but I also know myself enough to know that I can live without people.  You're addressing fundamental beliefs and character here.  If he says he couldn't live without his Slayer albums or his Satanic bible, bye-bye.)

7) He answers the same  passion/important thing question.  If you aren't *totally* enthusiastic about it, no-go.

8) If he doesn't get along with his family, no-go.

9) If he doesn't mention his salary, no-go.

10) If he doesn't mention his religion, no-go.

11) If he doesn't mention his preference on kids, no-go.

12) Falls in the strict age range, period.  And that means, unfortunately, someone within 5 years of your age.  Kids are fun, but kids don't want to settle down and have kids unless they have mommy issues.

I know this seems ridiculous and dumb, but being this picky worked for me.  Yes, I may have passed over guys who were just shy or awkward, but I don't want to deal with shy or awkward.  Been there, done that.  I don't know what freak stroke of luck sent me Doodlepants, but he met all those conditions and more.  No one else did in three months.

Square peg, meet round hole and screwed up teenaged dating

So I found it highly amusing that apparently I, the punk freak "untouchable" in high school, was in fact very much sought after but none of the guys would ask me out because they were afraid of me.  I scared them.  They were intimidated by me because I behaved the same as them, not like the other girls.  They didn't know how to approach me.  The guy who told me this, better known as The Chef, the one I actually did date and who is in touch with a lot of them, actually got applauded - applauded! - at the recent reunion for having both the prowess and the cojones to go out with me.  I've gotten messages from several who all said they regretted never asking me out.  WTF?  I mean really, W.T.F.?

How in the hell does that happen?  Why did no one tell me this?  Do you have any idea what this would have done for my self-esteem?  How much better I would have felt about myself, instead of being the girl that didn't have dates because she was just one of the guys?

I found all these people on Facebook, of course.  And it's funny - in the communication threads, these guys' wives and girlfriends have got their hackles up.  Do they not remember that I hung out with all these guys and I was friends with them, and not them?  And why wasn't I friends with the girls?  Because I was friends with the guys!  And oh, that's right, that's why all the girls called me a whore!  I'd almost forgotten that.  Funny how that works, especially knowing now that the guys were all afraid to ask me out.  

Good times.

hmmmm

I think I might be sporting a bit of a crush on an old classmate I have hung out with a couple of times............
I am going to just leave it at that for now.
WMJ

At a complete and utter loss....

I honestly don't think anyone could provide an adequate explanation for some of the atrocious behavior I have encountered as of late.....

Case Study #1 - Indian PhD Guy (Dazed and Confused)

First contacts me back in August on Match. We go out once, have a very good time, and make plans for a second date. Day of 2nd date I get a text from his friend saying he dislocated his shoulder and is in the hospital. A few weeks later, he resurfaces and sends me a very nice email saying that he's gotten back with his ex-girlfriend. I was fine with it, as I wasn't sure I was attracted to him in the first place, and he handled it well. Fast forward several months - I see him back on Match (looking at my profile) and we have a few fun episodes of text conversations (all PG, girls). He is flirty and asks me to come watch a movie at his house that night. I agree (deciding he is harmless) and then 30 minutes later he says he can't do it, has to pick up a stranded friend whose car broke down. A few months later, he's back - we text for 3 hours the Sunday of the snow, and he asks me out for dinner the following Friday (specific plans - restaurant, time, etc. all decided). Texts me on Tuesday to say hi, I write back 2 hours later, and nothing. And nothing. And nothing. I finally text him on Thursday to say are we still on for dinner. Nothing. And nothing since. Except....yep, you guessed it - he's back on Match and looking at my profile.

Case Study #2 - Nice Guy Jim (and what a guy he is)

Last Saturday I get an Match email (on my Blackberry) from Nice Guy Jim as follows:

Michelle - if you are ever in the mood to hook up, please call me at 404-xxx-xxxx. Jim.

Having no clue who this is, I check the picture when I get home (can't see it on the Blackberry) and it's this guy who emailed me almost a YEAR ago and then flaked out. We have never even talked on the phone.

To make it even better, this is how his profile now begins on Match -

I am a Christian man looking for a Christian woman that is marriage minded and wants to start a family fairly soon...

Gosh, do you think he wants to marry me? Or just come over to my house, screw me, and leave? I know which one I'm putting my money on....

There are more stories to tell, but I just don't have the energy to type them now....more soon.

10 years and counting.....

Ever have those guys you never get over? Those relationships that never seem to die? That one true love that you feel like makes you both into the poster children for "star-crossed lovers"?

Mine is going on 10 years now and just reemerged yesterday.

I know it will never go anywhere, but damn, if I'm not addicted to it. :-(

Stupid stupid stupid boys

WTF.  Just WTF.

We had a great time with him meeting the family.  He liked them, they liked him.

Today, he gets in a snit and is sulking and won't speak to me or communicate in any way.

I've about had it with this high school crap.  Seriously.  Be a man for christ's sakes.  Damn.

All I can say is....... WTF

Once again, as I have said repeatedly....... We couldn't make this shit up if we tried !!!!!!

So on Tues night I meet a new guy from yahoo personals out for coffee. He wrote me first and was very cute. He is Hungarian. So we meet, he is super cute, nice accent, well spoken, smart, interesting, well read, and seems to have a good job.

We are there for a few hours, and wrap up the night. At my car, he kisses me. VERY good kisser I might add. By the time I get on the highway I get a text message " you are a very good kisser, I want to see you again, Friday?"
Well, I already have another date lined up for tonight so I replied " I have plans Fri, but I am free Thurs. I get off wk @8, so won't be able to meet you til 9"
He is fine with that. And asks if I can come up his way ( #11 on 400, a good 30-40 min drive for me) there is a great tex mex place we can go to....... So I am fine with that.

I get there last night around 8:40, Give him a call and he says" I will be there in 10 min, get a booth"

Now a side bar here...... Since he has an accent, I can't always tell when he is kidding or not......

He sits down
him- "are you hungry?"
me- "actually yeah, the food looks good"
him-" I actually already ate"
me- "why?"
him- " It IS 9pm"
me- "and you knew that when we made plans"
him- " It doesn't matter, you are buying dinner tonight anyway, I will be a cheap date"

WTF- you asked ME out asshole, and I just drove 40 f-ing minutes for mexican food!!!!

me- "haha, yeah ok whatever" ( thinking he is joking.....)
him-" so what are we doing after this?"
me- no clue, this isn't my neck of the woods"
him- "my house is around the corner"
me- " I have only met you two times, and don't even know your last name yet, I will not be coming to your house tonight...."

Keep in mind He has corrected my grammer at this point too..... Over me saying "we were going to surround the wagons for a friend who was going thorugh a bad break up, v/s circle the wagons" who cares !!!!

The bill comes, he HANDS me the folder!!!!!Picks it up and HANDS it to me !!!!
Me- as I look him dead in the eye,,,,, " Won't be the first time I have needed to pay for dinner!!!" ( it was only $36!!!!)
Him- " I am very tired I need to go"

We walk out and he pats me on the back !!!!! same guy who laid one on me 2 nights before.......

I send him a text that says " I was actually really looking forward to seeing you tonight, and in all honesty you acted like a complete ass tonight"
His "reply......." I am sorry"
my last reply "really, if that is your attempt at an explanation, I am not interested ...."

Basically- Since he not getting laid on the first date, he didn't want to waste any time or money on me. Nice huh!!!


We can add him to the following experiences
1- suicidal intensive therapy guy
2- the guy who would text me "hey" 20 times a day after hanging out for an hour
3- the guy who 30 min after iming with me on yahoo told me he was wacking off to my picture and gave me graffic details
4- the latino jew, that after a nice first date, totally freaked out on me since his business was going down the toliet

Ladies am I forgetting anyone?????

I DO have another date tonight...... will post tomorrow.
WMJ


Update...... Date last night, he was very sweet, but in all honesty, he was kinda of boring, and was so nervous he was sweating...... So after 2 hrs, I went and met one of the ladies for a drink....

Parental Units

I think Doodlepants' parents like me more than he does. They were in town on their way to Florida and were very upset that I already had dinner plans and couldn't visit with them and Tony. His Mother is convinced that I'm The One. I think she pretty much told him that. He just said he thought it was funny. I think he secretly agrees with her.