Happy New Year!

The Captain poposed to me October 1.

December 1 he was asking for time to "think" and screwed me out of Christmas.

January 1 he finally officially breaks up with me.

January 2 he is back on Match.com with a brand new profile.

Yeah. You read that right.

So if you run across FromNowOn9 on Match.com, AVOID HIM.

Stupid stupid stupid boys

WTF.  Just WTF.

We had a great time with him meeting the family.  He liked them, they liked him.

Today, he gets in a snit and is sulking and won't speak to me or communicate in any way.

I've about had it with this high school crap.  Seriously.  Be a man for christ's sakes.  Damn.

Unbelievable

I am floored.  The Married Guy at Work (henceforth known as TMGAW) certainly gathers no moss.  I've been keeping tabs on his behavior out of sheer curiosity.  He apparently got that I'm not interested (maybe it was the 80 billion pictures of Doodlepants in my cube? [okay, so it's two]) and so within two months he is now dating and "serious" with one of the women who reports to him.  He got an email from her mother on Friday thanking him for making her so happy!  

This guy is still married and still has girlfriend # 1!  He just saw G#1  this past week!  So now he's got another one here?  Where do these guys get the energy?

Personally, I'd never be able to keep everyone straight.

You've got to be kidding me

I just got this long, heartfelt missive from Married Guy about how wrong he was to deal with the situation the way he did and how he should have apologized sooner and how if I'm the friend I said I was I'd just be happy for him that he's met the love of his life and let him live his life in peace.

Um, hello, Earth to Jackass? Besides the one email asking how you could be such an idiot, I haven't contacted you since your WIFE asked me to go away. Don't you dare get all righteous on me now.

I wrote him back saying that I did wish him well, and if he had been a man, he would have noticed that the last contact email was more of me being outraged that he could do this to her, as opposed to how he treated me. But I guess you don't notice those things when you're busy being self-righteous.

Really, though, it basically came down to it being my fault for trying to have a relationship with him, even though he was lying to everyone else the entire time, and how he never cared about me anyway and was wrong to keep seeing me. How I should have kept walking away the times I said I was going to - regardless of him protesting it. I can't go back to someone who doesn't want me, remember how that works?

I really just don't get the ego on these men. I really, really don't.

No longer amusing, mostly contemptible

Married Guy at work grosses me out. On the one hand he's giving me the typical line that his wife isn't coming down here to live, etc., and that it's better this way. So once he's tired of flirting with me and leaves, I go snooping.

From all I can judge from a handful of emails, his wife certainly doesn't seem to think the marriage is in trouble. Full of "love you"s and "miss you"s and at the same time he's getting the same kinds of messages from his girlfriend.

He saw me waiting for the elevator and actually caught me by the elbow just to say hello. Oh, hell no, Mr VP. Don't invade my personal space. Don't you dare. I just looked at his hand and didn't say anything until he let go. Now that I know what to look for, this guy definitely likes the challenge, the stalking and the hunt, and most likely gets bored after the kill. Scumbag.

Jackass.

Does a guy like this even realize how many lives this could potentially ruin if it got out? Why don't they care?

Married Men who still don't get it

Apparently Office Married Guy didn't get my comment yesterday, because he IMed me like usual this morning and actually called me sweets when he signed off.

I sense trouble brewing.

OMFG

Some guy just sent me this on MySpace - which says quite plainly in my profile that it ISN'T there for me to get hit on. So this whole impassioned soliloquy is doubly stupid because he obviously can't read.

****************************************************

No you don't know me, and I'm hoping i can draw a distinct line between maintaining class but at the same time not coming across like the other creeps on here. In order to do this, I realize I have to write something unique, but to make it even easier just be honest. I really have nothing to lose so sometimes I figure it is a good thing to put yourself out on a limb. I'm hoping to God it doesn't snap lol. Life seems really complex sometimes but we overestimate the fact that if we really want something all we need to do is really ask but ask in a humble way. There are so many people out there that are really just afraid to ask so they never get what it is they are seeking. Am I a people person? Absolutely I love helping people work out problems and have always considered myself to be blessed, considering all the gifts I have recieved. I didn't get to this mindset or develop my personality living a peachy sheltered life either (though I was brought up in a very good family). I have learned that life is so short and doing the right things always left a lasting high more than anything tangible. No drug nor drink could ever bring me to the high I feel when I connect with someone and truly listen. Not to say I never got crunk and didnt ball out of control, but I had to leave that life behind to work my way to the top. Fun memories and the building of ones character is what I got from living that club life. God shined his light in the early grey of a hangover. I did this over and over expected different results. If you are into that I don't knock it, I just live my life for tomorrow as opposed to always being in the moment and concerned about feeling good. Life is a fight and the strong push through discomfort. If it wasn't rainy and cold some days would we really appreciate the feeling of the beach on a sunny day? I just moved to Atlanta from FL where I took part in the family business. Aside from getting my ass handed to me on a daily basis, I did a little growing and went through some of the hardest times of my life trying to live up to that expectation that I was somehow supposed to be the best at everything I did because of who I was. I decided to move back to civilization after a three year term at my grandfathers company and still have great ties to the company but needed a change in scenery. Something about the change of leaves and it not always being 60 degrees is really refreshing. Something just told me to come back to Atlanta, so I did and now you find this peculiar message in your inbox :> Life is random or so we think it is until we find greater purpose and meaning in the things that are for the most part overlooked on a daily basis. It has always been said that God is in the details. When I got sober I started seeing life through a much clearer lens and realized that my purpose being here goes further than just making money and amassing material possessions. It goes further than finding someone that I can take care of and that can love me just as I love them. Of course these are great things to live for, something I think we all want but the rabbit hole can go as deep as we look. No rabbit hole is not synonymous with Myspace but then again why not? I have been single for some time, not because I smell bad or have bad teeth (haha) but am looking to make a connection with someone that is caring, someone that knows what they want in life (for the most part) and someone that is open to having a relationship with a man that can be the ruler of men but at the same time love to cuddle on a rainy night and watch a movie. I am definitely an alpha male but dont live up to many shallow stereotypes of that label. I would love to think I have a little more substance than most because I have been through so much in my life and have become very strong through these hardships. Obviously I do not put any expectations on anything because that is one way to set yourself up for disappointment, but hey this is life and its full of it. The advantage is having a very good bullshit filter, so you don't have to spend your time sifting through weak links. I not only can be someone that is intimate and sweet, but a pillar of strength and hope when hard times or difficult situations come. I am not cocky or arrogant though people that don't know me might get that impression. Confidence is a positive thing and thats something that I am because I know what I bring to the table. I am not an angel but I work in the light as opposed to the other side. Here's the part where instinct really just plays a role. I myself am a very good judge of character even with a 5 minute phone call. I have so many things I am trying to change so I doubt I am, but I strive to wake up a better man with each passing day and I will say that I am very different than any other 24 year old male you might know. Despite coming across like a goody good, i will regretfully inform you that I was a bad ass at one time in my life but had to grow out of that thinking that I was somehow better and unique. Life is very funny in a way that you will go many different directions, some shortcuts, and others turn out to lead you in the complete opposite direction of where you are trying to go. The important thing is that you are thankful for every moment and just dont make the same mistakes 55 times. All in all I would not be the person today if i had not made so many mistakes but have come out with more gifts . To whom much is given, much is expected. It is a matter of acknowledging that we are blessed and have much to offer; then the next step is to give it away. I am not giving myself away, but i am writing you to put myself in a position to make you laugh with my jokes and funny ass sense of humor. I might come across like a goody good, please do not let this be the case because it definitally isn't. I possess balance like any good man should. Anyways, this is not a scam nor a mass email, I wrote this with the intention of you writing back. No i am not desperate to meet someone, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get to know someone special. I hope you can take this into account when you read this and think it is too good to be true or you might just think i'm an idiot lol. Nevertheless you decide and hit me back!

Married Men who don't get it

I seem to have a flashing "Married Men Please Hit On Me" sign on my forehead - or more appropriately, on my breasts, since that's what they seem to notice first.

There is one in my office who has been particularly persistent, and what could be deemed "inappropriate" in HR speak, if I cared about any of that, but since I'm a grownup I'm not running to HR about it. Instead, today, he stops by for his usual flirt-fest and I ask him how his holiday went and when he's moving his family down and he says they're not moving down with him. I feign shock and sympathy and shake my head.

*cue opening for either party to establish mutual interest*

So I mention that's a shame and ask if it's a good thing or a bad thing? It's a good thing, and of course I frown sympathetically and mention that it's a sad thing to think about over the holiday. He of course behaves as though it isn't a big deal (and considering he already has one girlfriend, it must not be) and that's when I make the not-so-subtle statement that men are on the whole easy to understand and their motivations are easy to figure out and that things will always work themselves out for the best, even in situations that seem complicated.

He gave me a strange look for a minute and I just gazed back serenely and I think he finally got the hint, because he said he was glad to be back and immediately left.

Cross your fingers that he's taken my point.

Dating and the other Ex, the Snoop Session

So, as I'm getting ready to go meet Doodlepants for NYE, I get a text message from the ex-husband. It's a pitiful attempt at making me feel guilty by hoping that "you two have fun tonight" and to be safe and how he's not going out because he has to work NYD and he didn't have any invitations anywhere anyway. It rapidly spiralled downward from there when I told him politely to get over himself and get a life and stop trying to make me feel sorry for him. He's not my responsibility anymore and hasn't been for three years. Why is he still trying to guilt-trip me? Why is he conveniently overlooking the fact that he's steadfastly resisted getting his own life and instead focused on making me having a life seem bad? Most people would say that I should be more sympathetic and that he's just feeling lonely and I should have been nice but you'd have to know the whole backstory to appreciate the fact that he pulled this stunt as I was heading out the door on a date. Oy. Get over it, get over me, MOVE ON, please.

So, in light of Doodlepants's revelation that his ex had made contact with him, I decided it was time to see for myself if there were any skeletons - figurative or literal - in his closets. I've never been a snooper (maybe if I had I wouldn't have been with Married Guy for so long) but this time I decided that all's fair. Men can obviously lie and sneak with no guilt, so why should I feel bad about digging for some dirt? I made a thorough search of every drawer, nook and cranny upstairs while he cooked, and then the next morning I scoured the downstairs while he showered. I didn't find anything untoward; no heads in the closet, no gimp masks, and no plushy costumes, thank goodness. As far as his ex, I found some pictures, but they were mixed in with a bunch of others, so I felt that was reasonable, she was a part of his life, after all. In one of the garbage cans I did find what was apparently the card she'd left him and a bunch of junk, which could have been the things she left. I didn't read the card, because the idea made me feel even more squeamish on top of the snooping, but I wonder now if I should have.

So far it appears he's being honest, so I will continue to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he didn't have to tell me that she showed up, so we'll see if that honesty continues.

Dating and the Ex

So, Doodlepants emails me yesterday afternoon asking if I want to go out to dinner because after NYE he isn't going to get to see me until next week. So, fine, we go eat, and I notice he's quiet, but if anything, I'm smart enough to know that if you don't fill up that silence, eventually men start blabbering. And he obviously has something to say, and I'm half waiting for him to say it isn't working out. So I'm halfway through my ahi tuna salad when he suddenly pops out with the fact that his ex (the gorgeous redheaded amazon - I found her blog...and it isn't really snooping when it's public, right?) has been texting him and just yesterday left the "last of his stuff" outside his house with a card "with all this stuff written in it". He's "freaked out" by it.

Uh-huh.

Even though it's none of my business, of course I get my back up. They only ever tell you half of the truth, so there was more to it than that, I'm sure. Still, I like this guy and he always pays (so, I'm shallow, but I have always been the one to pay so I'm enjoying it) and we really get along. So I ask him how he plans to handle it, or if he's going to handle it. Men are terrified of confrontation, so this is a chance for me to see how he deals with it. He says he doesn't know but that she tried this before and he isn't going to fall for it. I thought about asking him if he was going to tell her about me, but I discovered quite suddenly that I really don't care enough one way or the other.

So there's no telling what might happen now. At least I was viewing this one realistically, and a little suspiciously. I mean, you've pretty much plumbed the depths of man's ability to be duplicitous when you get a Tiffany bracelet from a married man who is on his way out of town for his honeymoon. It's entirely possible that Doodlepants could start seeing her again and I'd never know.

Maybe she can find the earring I lost somewhere between the kitchen and the couch and the bedroom that he couldn't find.

WTF !!!!

Ok !!!!! I do not understand men, never have, never will.
Last night friend of a friend date guy texts and asks if I had a nice weekend and that he is looking forward to going to some parties with me that are coming up................................ very cool. he might have potential.......
This morning, the man formally know as my boyfriend..... texts me and says "good morning, how was your weekend?" Seriously !!!!!! Why???? Do you actually care?????
Date tonight guy keeps trying to change my mind on where we are meeting for dinner. On a first date, shouldn't I at least get my way since he asked where I wanted to go???? ( FYI- it is not some crazy expensive place)
Why oh Why do we even bother?????
Well like one of the girls stated in an earlier blog today, men DO serve a purpose that your girlfriends can't.
But there are always batteries.........................