Happy New Year!

The Captain poposed to me October 1.

December 1 he was asking for time to "think" and screwed me out of Christmas.

January 1 he finally officially breaks up with me.

January 2 he is back on Match.com with a brand new profile.

Yeah. You read that right.

So if you run across FromNowOn9 on Match.com, AVOID HIM.

Stupid stupid stupid boys

WTF.  Just WTF.

We had a great time with him meeting the family.  He liked them, they liked him.

Today, he gets in a snit and is sulking and won't speak to me or communicate in any way.

I've about had it with this high school crap.  Seriously.  Be a man for christ's sakes.  Damn.

Unbelievable

I am floored.  The Married Guy at Work (henceforth known as TMGAW) certainly gathers no moss.  I've been keeping tabs on his behavior out of sheer curiosity.  He apparently got that I'm not interested (maybe it was the 80 billion pictures of Doodlepants in my cube? [okay, so it's two]) and so within two months he is now dating and "serious" with one of the women who reports to him.  He got an email from her mother on Friday thanking him for making her so happy!  

This guy is still married and still has girlfriend # 1!  He just saw G#1  this past week!  So now he's got another one here?  Where do these guys get the energy?

Personally, I'd never be able to keep everyone straight.

You've got to be kidding me

I just got this long, heartfelt missive from Married Guy about how wrong he was to deal with the situation the way he did and how he should have apologized sooner and how if I'm the friend I said I was I'd just be happy for him that he's met the love of his life and let him live his life in peace.

Um, hello, Earth to Jackass? Besides the one email asking how you could be such an idiot, I haven't contacted you since your WIFE asked me to go away. Don't you dare get all righteous on me now.

I wrote him back saying that I did wish him well, and if he had been a man, he would have noticed that the last contact email was more of me being outraged that he could do this to her, as opposed to how he treated me. But I guess you don't notice those things when you're busy being self-righteous.

Really, though, it basically came down to it being my fault for trying to have a relationship with him, even though he was lying to everyone else the entire time, and how he never cared about me anyway and was wrong to keep seeing me. How I should have kept walking away the times I said I was going to - regardless of him protesting it. I can't go back to someone who doesn't want me, remember how that works?

I really just don't get the ego on these men. I really, really don't.

No longer amusing, mostly contemptible

Married Guy at work grosses me out. On the one hand he's giving me the typical line that his wife isn't coming down here to live, etc., and that it's better this way. So once he's tired of flirting with me and leaves, I go snooping.

From all I can judge from a handful of emails, his wife certainly doesn't seem to think the marriage is in trouble. Full of "love you"s and "miss you"s and at the same time he's getting the same kinds of messages from his girlfriend.

He saw me waiting for the elevator and actually caught me by the elbow just to say hello. Oh, hell no, Mr VP. Don't invade my personal space. Don't you dare. I just looked at his hand and didn't say anything until he let go. Now that I know what to look for, this guy definitely likes the challenge, the stalking and the hunt, and most likely gets bored after the kill. Scumbag.

Jackass.

Does a guy like this even realize how many lives this could potentially ruin if it got out? Why don't they care?

Married Men who still don't get it

Apparently Office Married Guy didn't get my comment yesterday, because he IMed me like usual this morning and actually called me sweets when he signed off.

I sense trouble brewing.

Married Men who don't get it

I seem to have a flashing "Married Men Please Hit On Me" sign on my forehead - or more appropriately, on my breasts, since that's what they seem to notice first.

There is one in my office who has been particularly persistent, and what could be deemed "inappropriate" in HR speak, if I cared about any of that, but since I'm a grownup I'm not running to HR about it. Instead, today, he stops by for his usual flirt-fest and I ask him how his holiday went and when he's moving his family down and he says they're not moving down with him. I feign shock and sympathy and shake my head.

*cue opening for either party to establish mutual interest*

So I mention that's a shame and ask if it's a good thing or a bad thing? It's a good thing, and of course I frown sympathetically and mention that it's a sad thing to think about over the holiday. He of course behaves as though it isn't a big deal (and considering he already has one girlfriend, it must not be) and that's when I make the not-so-subtle statement that men are on the whole easy to understand and their motivations are easy to figure out and that things will always work themselves out for the best, even in situations that seem complicated.

He gave me a strange look for a minute and I just gazed back serenely and I think he finally got the hint, because he said he was glad to be back and immediately left.

Cross your fingers that he's taken my point.

Dating and the other Ex, the Snoop Session

So, as I'm getting ready to go meet Doodlepants for NYE, I get a text message from the ex-husband. It's a pitiful attempt at making me feel guilty by hoping that "you two have fun tonight" and to be safe and how he's not going out because he has to work NYD and he didn't have any invitations anywhere anyway. It rapidly spiralled downward from there when I told him politely to get over himself and get a life and stop trying to make me feel sorry for him. He's not my responsibility anymore and hasn't been for three years. Why is he still trying to guilt-trip me? Why is he conveniently overlooking the fact that he's steadfastly resisted getting his own life and instead focused on making me having a life seem bad? Most people would say that I should be more sympathetic and that he's just feeling lonely and I should have been nice but you'd have to know the whole backstory to appreciate the fact that he pulled this stunt as I was heading out the door on a date. Oy. Get over it, get over me, MOVE ON, please.

So, in light of Doodlepants's revelation that his ex had made contact with him, I decided it was time to see for myself if there were any skeletons - figurative or literal - in his closets. I've never been a snooper (maybe if I had I wouldn't have been with Married Guy for so long) but this time I decided that all's fair. Men can obviously lie and sneak with no guilt, so why should I feel bad about digging for some dirt? I made a thorough search of every drawer, nook and cranny upstairs while he cooked, and then the next morning I scoured the downstairs while he showered. I didn't find anything untoward; no heads in the closet, no gimp masks, and no plushy costumes, thank goodness. As far as his ex, I found some pictures, but they were mixed in with a bunch of others, so I felt that was reasonable, she was a part of his life, after all. In one of the garbage cans I did find what was apparently the card she'd left him and a bunch of junk, which could have been the things she left. I didn't read the card, because the idea made me feel even more squeamish on top of the snooping, but I wonder now if I should have.

So far it appears he's being honest, so I will continue to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he didn't have to tell me that she showed up, so we'll see if that honesty continues.