Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Clueless Girl's Translation Tool

When it comes to the cheating male, there is a whole dictionary of terms you should know: What they say vs. what they mean. Posting this has nothing to do with being bitter (no, not me!), but I thought I should save other women some trouble when it comes to translation. Be warned, these guys are good: Mine brought me a really nice birthday present 2 days after he got married! Gotta love those thoughtful guys!

This is only a sampling.

They say: “I travel extensively for work.”

They mean: I have a girl in every city OR that's my excuse when I have to make plans with the wife.

They say: “I’m usually flying for work on the weekends, so I’ll call you.”

They mean: My cell phone ringing at awkward moments when I’m with my wife is not something I want to deal with.

They say: “I work all the time.”

They mean: I can’t call you at normal times because I’m actually having dinner with the wife and kids.

They say: “Here’s my cell number. I don’t waste money on a home phone line.”

They mean: I can’t risk you calling my house and getting my wife on the line.

They say: “I’m not really much of an email or SMS guy; I’d rather hear your voice.”

They mean: I don’t want you putting anything in writing that my wife might find.

They say: “I’m busy that weekend. My cousin is coming to town.”

They mean: I’m actually seeing another woman when I travel to the other office, so I don’t have time for you.

They say: “Here, have this really expensive gift for no reason – aren’t I great?”

They mean: You’re starting to get suspicious and I need to distract you quickly.

They say: “I have this family thing up at the lake; we do this every year, just the family. I’ll call you when I get back.”

They mean: I’m taking the other girlfriend/my wife with me because I like them more.

1 comment:

Brown Eyed Girl said...

This is a fantastic tool, Clueless Girl. And I think it will definitely save some women from added aggrevation. I find your translations to be extremely accurate. Although, I do believe some single men have been prone to using them too - just because they like to make the rounds!