Well BH (brown hipster)'s ex-wife is bringing his daughter up for a visit this weekend. BH asked if I'd mind if his ex-wife stayed at his house for the weekend because she didn't have a place to stay and didn't have transportation back out of town until Sunday. He then said, "If you want to postpone meeting my daughter while (ex-wife) is here, I'll totally understand."
Hmmm. I understand being a accomodating, but am I a total beyotch for not being ok with ex-wife spending Friday and Saturday night at his house? Why does the fact that they have a child together make it ok? He wouldn't be cool with my ex-husband spending the weekend at my house; and I'd never ask.
I want to be ok with this. Maybe I'm not as "cool" as I thought. Thoughts?
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2 comments:
I agree that it's awkward, but I'm weird. I think it's fine, but on a case by case basis. Some divorced couples maintain good relationships and see nothing strange about it. Go with your gut instinct about it. If it makes you feel uneasy, let him know, and why. It does seem a little odd that the ex-wife is inserting herself into the picture like that, I do think that's a little out of line.
It really comes down to their relationship and your gut reaction. But communicate communicate, communicate. If it isn't okay, and you tell him that, and he doesn't get it, there's a bigger issue.
I agree it is a case by case thing. Remember that formerly known as and his ex are very good friends. I never felt uncomfortable with it, I actually really like her and have stayed friends with her even after FKA and I broke up. But they have been divorced 8 yrs too....
It mogiht help if you tell him you want to meet her and see how they act around each other....
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